Social skills and introspektion

I used to ponder a lot about social relationships, about the intentions of different people and about the possibilities in each human encounter. It wasn’t of much use but then I learned: I learned how I can make instantaneous observations that tell me a lot about each human relationship. The most important lesson is t not to put to words what I have observed but to keep it as undisturbed sensory perceptions instead. Each human being has one’s own style which ne follows all the time, and sensed impressions tell us just that. It is all that we can get from a human being kind of rule of the individual’s behavior of all sides of one’s life. That’s it!

I also used t ponder a lot about myself about my life my character my abilities my social relationships etc. Then I learned that it is not which wrds I find to try to describe or classify myself. It is instead how I feel each moment in each kind of situation of life, that tells me what I am like what I like what suits me and what I ought to avoid. My possibilities of improvement are just where I feel inspirited and my dead ends are just where I feel lousy. There is nothing special to me and my life no words noo theories just the sensations that I feel each moment…

S9ome social skills that can get you out of trouble

Social contacts always have two sides: you and the others. If yu choose one deed, you get one kind of feedback, but if you choose another you get other kind of feedback. The general principle by which you get treated is that you get a like thing in return but this is a very wide thing referring to your observed strategy of life. So if others estimate you to be a trustworthy friendly kind of fellow you are likely to achieve a friendly chat. But if others see that you might be untrustworthy and do nasty things to undeserving others you are likely to get threatened. So your level of moral is seen and taken into account: kind of what kind of person is good to have around or not. Most people do have social eye, so what you do generally in your life, what might happen but what is not here and now does still affect enormously how you get treated. All do not notice everything but they do notice a lot, most notice even things that you suppose to be impossible for anyone to notice. So be honest toward yourself in determining what KIND OF FEEDBACK YOU HAVE DESERVED you are likely to ACHIEVE JUST THAT.
So some people end up in a mess all the time. There are some advices that could cure their lives: The first one is to be fair toward all. You are allowed to be selfish but not malicious. Behaviour that is understandable goes accepted and unharmed but behavior that is out of the question because of being too harmful does not. For you to see positive alternatives it is important to relax your neck and your back and to look at an ordinary healthy tree (not an apple tree since it has been cut) while you ponder, since that widens your observational skills: you are not as stuck to habit and can see the wide landscape instead of just your immediate actions.
Healthy natural ways of living bring you furthest in the world. Everything else is just build upon them. So observe where you do things healthily and keep to that. Observe also which sides are unnatural or go ashtray and seek to drop them away. That way you can achieve much strength and see to the real dynamics of social life and of the world at large.

The strongest choise

the wisest choise is to be strong yourself, to have a good strategy of life, to be a member of a strong group which too have a good strategy, which in turn is a member of a bigger strong group with a good strategy and so on up to the level of the whole world.

Aggression is needed

Humans have two types of feelings:
Positive feelings like love, happiness, joy, liking etc. bring us toward the things that we want to our lives. Those things answer to our needs and to the needs of the society and the living environment, keeping them healthy and strong.
Negative feelings like hate, disgust, suffering, sorrow etc. repel harmful things away from our lives. Typically these are just big nasty things like work, culture, mum’s nasty opinions, our own firmly stuck habits, etc. which are very difficult to change – still it is of no use if we misdirect the anger to some other goal that does not deserve it, here was the correction needed, not there!
Both types of action are needed and both work well only if we recognize right what is it that we wanna avoid or to reach for and if we avoid the error of tunnel-sightedness and use a holistic view of the world and of life as a whole instead.
The world is full of phenomena, some we like (they are in some way useful to us) and some we hate (they are in some way harmful to us IF we have recognized right the cause of the feeling). We just have to resist the harmful, otherwise we will be shortly overrun, maybe even killed. And we just have to cultivate the good things, otherwise we will have nothing to live on and we will starve to death.
It demands lots of honesty toward yourself to notice what is what in life but it is well worth the effort!

If someone demands trust

If things really are so, that can be tested and probably proven (as long as you are not sabotaging things yourself).
But if they just lie, then they build everything on trust only.

If you have enemies

Try to count on healthily responsible behavior yourself, that way true justice i.e. the good of the group is for you.
And allow the behavior of your enemies as far as it is healthily responsible toward the group and the world at large, since that way you look fair and keep the group in good order.

If under pressure by others

Sometimes you cannot choose but others can and they still have an opinion about you. So if you need to obey stronger or wiser ones, do it in healthy ways and you will gain more respect and maybe even make pals since people like to see choices that are good for themselves too. Similarly you can suggest a healthy version of some choice that they have made: maybe it would bring them fairly deserved better position, a brighter future for them – and consequently for you too!

Health is the wisest course to take

Healthy is strong and well functioning. Whenever you make some choice, try what you could gain by making a healthy kind of version of the same thing. If there is some side of the thing still lacking, try if that too could be cured by making that side healthier. Health is the strangest choice tested by evolution or by god’s wisdom, so typically it really makes things work out well. You can safeguard also the health of arrangements and the health of the state of the world at large; generally that makes you gain fairly deserved social position that you can use in healthy ways.

Benefit a lot, lose only a little

Wise choices mean that you choose something better than what would happen without any choice, since iuf you choose worse you lose something of worth without there being any point in that and if you do only as well as otherwise you have needlessly spent your forces.
So every time try to benefit as much as you can and lose as little as you can. Both of these goals matter. And also those things which are more difficult to notice matter as well. The wisest choise is one which takes EVERYTHING FULLY INTO ACCOUNT and gains so all that there is to gain and loses nothing.
The usual problem in this is to be too short-sighted: often people grasp only the immediate gain in sight and disregard all the other consequences that they have to bear as well but that are more difficult to notice. A wise person uses a holistic view of the world, which is easy if you are relaxed in a lively way and use landscape like views in thinking, so one can take all things into account in an easy way and never lose sight of the future consequences of one’s actions.
Many people still know the instinctual way to count benefits and losses: Each thing has an atmosphere, which is dark for losses and reddish or light for positive states of affairs like a tree bearing fruit. So when they observe something as a seen landscape with atmosphere they almost at once know whether there are many threaths or many gains in that landscape.

Strong and safe

The stronger, the wiser and the more skilled you are and the better position you have, the better you will do in life, so it makes sense to take these things as your values, as your goals. Here position is a complex thing: it means a good position for just you but if somebody else does a better job in safeguarding your own good, a good position for yourself means that they get better positions in the hierargy than you, your own good demands that they are higher than you. This way you can be both under the rule of others and safer than you could be on your own. Generally all kinds of allegiancies are based on this logic: people who are good at caring for the group are beneficial choices for leadership positions.